Tim Tebow: A Younger, Stronger Ivan Drago.
November 28, 2007 by Run Up The Score!
A horrible thought just occurred to me. Maybe I’m the last person to think of it.
As discussed below, it’s entirely reasonable to think that Penn State lucks its way into the Capital One Bowl in Orlando. If that happens, they’ll have the pleasure of giving up eight touchdowns to this guy:
The guy! On the left!
That’s right, Tim Tebow and the Mighty Gators. If it actually happens, it’ll look like this, but with slightly more carnage:
And now that I think about it, remember a week ago when we discussed Spanier’s best shot of taking out Joe Paterno as he heads into the last year of his contract? A bad season (check) with multiple off-field issues (check) and an embarrassing bowl loss. There will always be a “Joe Forever!” segment of the fan base. The “swing” voters are quickly fleeing to Spanier’s side, and a bowl blowout will only hasten things.
If PSU does end up playing Florida in the Cap One Bowl, the Blue Band should learn how to play “There’s No Easy Way Out.”
It’s not as if Florida needs Tebow though…Those chick’s jugs alone could score several TD’s on our secondary.
Oh, yeah…check those saline bags…
Whether or not PSU is invited to the Capital One Bowl, that babe is welcome here in Orlando anytime. At my house.
—TNT
Nothing will get Joe to leave ; he controls the athletic director & Spanier doesn’t want to go down in the history books as the guy that told Joe to not come back
Get a body bag!!!
Joe “The Italian Stallion” Paterno is not human, he is a piece of iron.
Yeah, I can’t see us putting our usual SEC hurt on Florida.
But I think our chance of ending up in this bowl is about one in a million. Illinois isn’t attractive as BCS material goes; there’s far better travelling teams to take over them; but I figure they beat us out for the Capital One for novelty’s sake.
“Jugs”. Ha.
I don’t know though- If Joe didn’t get forced out when we had 4 losing seasons in 5 years, why would the final straw be losing a NYD bowl to a top-10, defending national champion team with a Heisman finalist qb? And if the argument is the off the field issues, well we had those during the crap years too. I could be wrong, but I think Joe is leaving when Joe wants to.
ONE:
Maybe I’m making this up, and I’m definitely too lazy to verify, but isn’t there some codicil in the Big Ten Bowl Charter that states (and I’m paraphrasing here) “A bowl higher up in the pecking order can pick a lower ranked team in the conference, but only if said lower ranked team is within one conference game of the higher ranked, bypassed team.”
So, assuming I didn’t just make up this codicil (apparently my big word of the day, I guess) - doesn’t Michigan have two conference losses to our four? Thus, if Illinois goes BCS, doesn’t the Capital One have to take Michigan?
And, while i’m asking questions, who let the Outback Bowl pick out of turn? What lets them just up and select a team while everyone else is floating in space? Savvy move on their part, but isn’t that cheating?
Shogun-I read somewhere else that it’s actually within one game in terms of overall record. So, we could get the bid over Michigan. I agree though-why was the Outback allowed to do that?
How about this scenario-Tennessee beats LSU on Saturday, and we get LSU in the Cap One Bowl against Michigan’s future coach.
TWO:
RUTS, keep in mind that the program is only in shambles and in desparate need of a regime change in the minds of small town sports writers and message board denizens.
In the eyes of Graham “Cashy McBenjamins” Spanier, the program:
- is headed to another bowl, which makes rich alumni with travel money happy
- is on tv every week
- sold out season tickets in 32 seconds.
He’s okay with 8-4, 9-4, etc. because it still very much pays the bills, which is ALL THAT MATTERS TO HIM.
The acronym you need to remember: CREASE
Cash Rules Everything Around Spanier, Ese!
Okay, I knew there was a ‘within one game’ rule out there somewhere. I guess the Outback figured they were getting us, Wisky, or UM. We played there last year, UW travels well, and I doubt Michigan fans will be flocking to whatever bowl game they get.
Makes sense for them. Just not sure how they managed to do it, other than perhaps CapOne confirmed they had no intention of inviting Wisky two years in a row, and gave them the green light.
Big Ten loves selling tickets, so they probably didn’t mind the head start.
Shogun -
+1 for the use of “ese”
Warms my heart.
The big ten loves selling tv - and people love to watch penn state.
Now if by some bizarre chance PSU does play florida - all we can do is hope that Tebow does win the Heisman.
CockD,
Thanks. I was afraid some of the non-Spanglish speakers on this site would read it and say, “Eese-y? What does that mean?”
But sometimes you just need to let ‘er rip, mang.
Alright, did you write the four essays?
Si, we all wrote eses for you
Alright! Let’s have ‘em!
Have what?
You said you all wrote essays, where are they?
Well, my ese lives in Miami.
I wrote 3 essays…thanks for writing me essay!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS6ba9dp294
I put up a post on this also b/c I couldn’t figure out why the Cap One passed. I guess the Wiscy AD (your friend and mine) decided to tell the Cap One a couple of weeks ago he wasn’t interested in the bid. Not sure why he did this, but whatever.
Now I know there is a lot of negativity, but playing Florida is a great opportunity for us. I don’t know that being blown out will hurt as bad as not being noticed in the first place, and publicity and that whole line.
Also, what if we won? I know its a long shot, but I like the matchup of our linebackers against Tebo, and our D-Line looks to be healthy by then…this is probably my delusional nonsense but if we tighten up the secondary (unlikely) I’m not convinced we would be blown out of the water…underdogs? of course.
PSU plays well in bowl games and especially against heisman guys.
Actually think we would win, Morelli will go out a hero after 4 years of sh*t
And if we lose, the point can be made that this is how much harder we have to work to close the gap and win a MNC as Florida is the early favorite for preseason Number 1 next year.
“is headed to another bowl, which makes rich alumni with travel money happy”
Alumni won’t travel to the Alamo this year. This is a very different feeling than 1999.
The Blockbuster Bowl (OLD SK00L!) won’t attract shit for travel either, but at least there’s more than enough local alumni to fill half the stadium.
Wait, who asked me about the Colorado celebrities in the South Park “Guitar Queer-O” episode? Those people were totally real — at least the Shane Co. jeweler. I forget the others.
A question for everyone: Even if Spanier doesn’t have a financial incentive to get rid of Paterno, isn’t it possible that Spanier has an emotional or vindictive reason to replace him?
I remember Amp Lee running wild in the Blockbuster Bowl..ugh
RUTS,
Good question. Why do you feel Spanier wants him out? What’s the vibe you’re getting here?
If CREASE gets rid of Joe, he’d be losing his #1, Hall of Fame, All-Time Big Money fundraiser. Plus, if not handled properly, he’d have the #1, Hall of Fame, All-Time PR disaster on his hands.
Plenty of loyal fans can deal with shitty games against Coastal Iowa and Downtown Altoona Community College, but they’ll lose their mind if Spanier “wrongs” Joe somehow.
If CREASE sticks to his motives, I gotta think he’s keeping the guy around as long as the rent gets paid.
// Why do you feel Spanier wants him out? What’s the vibe you’re getting here? //
Partially wishful thinking, partially a hunch that because Spanier now has his own contract renewal sewn up, he can turn his attention to pushing Paterno out the door. The infamous visit to Paterno’s house before the 2005 season was supposed to remain a secret. Even last year after a game, Paterno bitterly referred to Spanier trying to force him into retirement.
There’s no way — absolutely no way — Paterno goes into next season quietly without a contract extension. Even from a practical standpoint, the coaching staff can’t legitimately recruit with an 81 year old head coach who doesn’t have a contract. In the same vein, I also don’t think there’s any way that Spanier would give Paterno four more years.
I really think there’s going to be a showdown after the bowl game. Maybe they’ll agree to a two-year extension.
Honest question — Does anyone think that people fill the stadium and parking lots to see Joe Paterno, even though we’re able to have such a football program because of Paterno? Who would suddenly stop going to games if we had a different coach — maybe the “Down In Front!” crew?
Oh my God, an Amp Lee reference.
I remember when the Eagles signed Amp Lee. Good times, good times.
I think Paterno has been honest with recruits. While I’m not in the living room, he seems to admit the pitch becomes, “I don’t know if I’ll be here in four years, but I’m here now, I feel great, and things will be in place for when I leave. Did I ever tell you about the time I played against Vince Lombardi’s junior high basketball team?”
I’m not sure college kids are sweating Joe’s contract (recruiting has been pretty good lately, in fact), as they’re getting assurances that life won’t change when Joe leaves.
I think 105,000 people will still go games after Joe retires. But I’m not sure that donors will keep opening their wallet for capital campaign gifts if CREASE tries some ham-fisted power move to boot him.
AND, food for thought:
Joe makes $500,000. Think we’re getting a hot shot, high profile, super famous-everybody wants them coach to come in here for that salary? Not happening. CREASE knows that Joe is good for the bottom line not only in what he brings in, but also in the fact that expenses stay low with this coach. He can hire Bradley for $300,000 rather than hire Ferentz/Schiano/Neuhiesal/Kelly/Leavett/AnyNameYouLike for five times that amount. That’s a big deal, when you think about it.
But honestly, that can’t be all Paterno makes. Somewhere, there’s a list of other coaches base salaries, and many of them are in the 200-300k range. It’s the incentives, sponsorships, TV shows, etc. where these guys can really get paid.
of course that’s where they make their money - the same way high profile college professors, politicians, etc. make their money by writing mainstream books, acting in movies and appearing on game/reality shows. In the “olden days” Paterno did a lot more sponsorships - water, bread, pizza - and so on. He’s written books - gives speeches - and I really don’t think that we need to worry about Joe’s bank balance - he appears to be a pretty frugal guy.
I doubt that anyone in Old Main wants to (publicly) be known as the one who muscled out Paterno. Reportedly it’s part of the reason that Joab left - he’d been President down at Alabama when the Bear retired - and he didn’t want to be around to replace Joe as well - of course it’s been 12 years since he left - and Joe’s still around.
Spanier has said publicly that Penn State can’t “afford” a high profile coach - it’s BS - but he’s laid the ground work for justifying the next hire (whomever it may be) -
/But honestly, that can’t be all Paterno makes/
Definitely, and a lot of those things don’t come out of CREASE’s pocket - Nike money, for example. Tressel gets a half-mil for wearing a swoosh on his sweater vest.
See link for some interesting examples. How mad must Iowa be for paying Kirk Ferentz an amount equal to the annual GDP of Luxembourg to coach 5-6 teams?
http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2007/11/30/paternos_base_salary_512664.aspx
RUTS, I was the one asking about the Guitar Queer-O episode. Thanks for the answer
No matter what anyone says in this world, Tim Tebow is a stud both on and off the field.
Good Luck in 2008
Tim Tebow Fan
Noel